“That’s it” you think to yourself. “I know something is going on here.” Last week Shaina came home and she just wasn’t herself. She was loud and silly and saying things she doesn’t normally say. She has been coming home later than usual and spending time with friends that I don’t know. Whenever I try to talk to her she gets angry and explodes. I just don’t know what to do.
First of all, you are not alone. Did you know that nearly half of high school age youth in the US have had at least one drink in the last month? About one fourth have used marijuana. While alcohol is the most frequently abused substance among teenaged youth, national surveys indicate that by the age of 14, slightly more than one third of youth have used illicit drugs. Whether or not your teen is currently using alcohol or drugs, research indicates that it is the norm, so it is important to get informed and be prepared to support your child in making healthy choices.
So how can you tell if your child is using drugs or alcohol? Here are some beginning questions to help guide you in assessing whether or not your child is struggling with drugs and alcohol:
- Has your child had any recent changes in school performance and/or participation in activities? Are they still interested in things they typically enjoy?
- How is your child getting along with others? Have they made changes in their groups of friends or the way in which they talk with peers? Is your child using code language or code words or acting secretly around you or other adults?
- Is your child acting as though they are trying to hide something? Are they using excessive perfume or breath mints to cover smells? Are they using eye drops?
- Has your child had any significant changes in their sleeping or energy cycles, such as sleeping all day or not sleeping at all or having increases in energy or talkativeness?
If you answered yes to any of these questions or have other concerns about your child using, it is important to contact a professional for further assessment. Meanwhile, here are some strategies parents can use to help prevent their child from using. First, get clear on the rules. Talk to your child about the dangers of drugs and alcohol and let your child know that using drugs or alcohol is not ok. Establish limits and consequences for breaking the rules and follow through with them. Second, know where your child is and get to know their friends. Make sure that they are not unsupervised or have activities to do when they are unsupervised by adults. It helps to network with other parents so that you can all work together in keeping your teens safe. Make sure that your child stays engaged in hobbies they enjoy, such as sports or artistic activities. Give teens alternative activities to do on the weekends. Many communities have teen centers or community groups that provide drug and alcohol free activities for youth. Practice refusal skills with your children and make a plan with your child to use so they can save face if their friends or other youth are using around them. Start early. Research shows that teens who delay the onset of drinking and drug use have lower chances of abusing drugs or becoming addicted.
